Almost Lover
by Dragons and Otters
Summary: ONESHOT: Queenie Goldstein grapples with losing love, and Jacob Kowalski has a dream.


**A/N:** For those that don't already know, Alison Sudol = Queenie = A Fine Frenzy. I blame JadePresley for making me think of "Almost Lover" and Queenie/Jacob. Sorry in advance for the feels you might get after reading this. Enjoy!

* * *

 _Queenie Goldstein_

* * *

 _Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream._

Queenie Goldstein couldn't just stand by and watch the tainted water fall upon Jacob's hair and drops roll along his face. He closed his eyes, and her connection with his mind was lost. She held her wand up, casting an umbrella above her as she walked through the rain to stand in front of Jacob, the No-Maj whom she'd started to fall for.

She pressed her lips against his, and her heart clenched at the feeling of his mouth molding to her own. Jacob was unlike anyone she'd ever known. It was illegal for her to care for him, she knew that, but the heart wants what the it wants.

It was pain unlike anything she'd ever known when she stepped back from him, his eyes still closed and his lips still pursed slightly as if she might continue kissing him. Queenie turned back to her companions, taking in the expressions across her sister's and Newt's faces. Pity. Sadness. She took a deep breath and walked back toward them, dropping her wand and vanishing the umbrella. Her sister started to say something, but the look in Queenie's eyes silenced her though he mouth hung open slightly like she'd been immobilized mid-word.

"Let's just go," Queenie murmured quietly, and Newt immediately sprang into action, side-long apparating them back to the Goldstein sisters' home. As they slipped away from the inner city, Queenie kept her eyes on Jacob. Her heart cracked as he disappeared from her sight, but the momentary chaos of apparition silenced her sobs.

 _I'm trying not to think about you. So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. I should've known you'd bring me heartache — almost lovers always do._

The witch attempted to get back to normal. She put on a brave face for the world and thanked Merlin that no one was quite as adept as she at reading minds. Though she put on her pretty smile and forced light into her eyes, she was empty on the inside. It was a strange feeling, and she found herself not enjoying most of the things she once did.

She couldn't stomach the smell of strudel anymore.

But they were star-crossed lovers. She was never supposed to have met Jacob. She was never supposed to have fallen in love with a No-Maj. It was against the law. Queenie thought maybe Britain was onto something with how they treated relations between magical and non-magical folks. She found working at the Magical Congress of the United States of America harder each passing day. Her loyalties were elsewhere, even if elsewhere didn't know what it was missing.

* * *

 _Jacob Kowalski_

* * *

 _We walked along a crowded street. You took my hands and danced with me. And when you left, you kissed my lips._

Jacob Kowalski had never been much of a dreamer. He never recalled falling asleep at night — working on your feet all day at a soulless job could do that to a person — and always simply woke from a quiet sleep each morning.

But the night before his bakery's opening, he had vivid dreams. Curly blonde hair flashed across his face. A delighted giggle filled his ears. Big, expressive, blue eyes lit up at the sight of him. A beautiful woman held his hand as she dragged him around the city looking for an adventure. She stopped him in the middle of the street, taking his other hand and dancing with him to music only she could hear. She whispered sweet nothings in his ear that sent shivers straight to his groin. She was like seeing the sun after a rainy day.

It started to rain, and her eyes grew tortured as she watched the water soak them. He was trying to ask her what was wrong, but she kissed him before he could. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around her, press their bodies closer together, but he couldn't. He was paralyzed. He tried to keep his eyes open, wanting to commit this dreamy moment to memory, but his eyelids were too heavy.

When he could finally open them again, she was gone.

And then he woke up, a strange sadness wrapping itself around his heart.

 _I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me._

Opening his bakery to the public was supposed to be the happiest time in his life, but instead he was haunted by the beautiful girl in his dreams. Jacob, as far as he could recall, had never seen the woman before in his life. As he moved through the motions of opening his shop and interacting with customers, he wondered if it were possible to meet your soulmate for the first time in a dream.

Weeks later, he'd nearly forgotten about the woman whose memory had overshadowed his pride at finally making his real dreams come true.

That is, until that woman walked into his shop one day and those big eyes landed on him.

* * *

 _Queenie Goldstein_

* * *

 _I cannot go to the ocean, I cannot drive the streets at night, I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind._

She tried, oh she tried, to stay away. She heard through Newt that Jacob would be opening his bakery. It was Jacob's dream come true, and just thinking about it made her heart flitter about uncomfortably in her chest. Queenie thought of him every day. When she awoke, when she ate or cooked in her kitchen, when she went to work. Even the sight of her sister could prompt a memory of Jacob. She couldn't seem to get back to herself; she couldn't seem to let go.

Queenie walked around the city with hope in her heart. If she saw him, and he was happy, maybe she could walk away, maybe she could move on. It wasn't until she laid eyes on him that she realized how mistaken she was. A small smile spread across his face in greeting to his newest customer, and Queenie had to fight back the chuckle that threatened to overcome her when his first thoughts at the sight of her were the same as the actual first time.

And suddenly, she felt whole once more.

As she approached the counter, Jacob's hand went up to his neck, touching the place where Newt's murtlap had bitten him. He looked at her strangely, like he might recognize her if only he could think clearly.

There was so much she wanted to say, but she knew she shouldn't. Queenie knew the consequences of socializing with a No-Maj. Though it was hard to care when she was face-to-face with Jacob. It only broke her heart further that he didn't recognize her fully, didn't remember her. She wondered hopefully if maybe another kiss could break the obliviation spell, like all of those No-Maj fairy tales always say about true love's kiss.

 _So now I'm gone, and I'm haunted. And I bet you're just fine._

She smiled genuinely up at him when it was her turn in line. Now that she had the chance to speak to him, she found herself afraid to say anything. What if she told him about what had happened between them and he didn't believe her? What if they got together and MACUSA stripped her of her magic? What if forcing herself back into his life was the worst thing she could do for both of them?

The war raged on in her head even as he asked her what kind of pastry she wanted. She opened her mouth to speak, and for a long moment, she could not force words past her lips. "Do you have a slice of strudel?" she asked finally, her voice timid.

"Strudel is my favorite," he replied, his smile growing wider.

She glanced down, unable to watch him as he pulled the long twisty bread from a cabinet and deftly began to cut into its fresh flakiness. It felt as if her heart might implode, and she had to fight back the tears that sprang to her eyes. _I know_ , she wanted to say. _I love you_.

But she didn't say any of that. Queenie paid for her pastry and thanked the man who thought she was a stranger. For the second time in her life, she turned her back on the man she loved. And she found it didn't hurt any less at all, if anything, it hurt all the more.

* * *

 _Jacob Kowalski_

* * *

 _Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream._

He watched in despair as the woman with the blonde curls and big eyes turned around and walked out of his shop. He wanted to call to her, ask her name at least. He wanted to close the shop down for the day to find her. He wanted to…

Jacob Kowalski waited every day in the hopes she would return to his bakery, and every night she visited him in his dreams. He was haunted by her beauty and joyful soul — because he may never know more about her. With each passing day, the hope that he would ever find her again began to fade, but the memory of her never did.


End file.
